Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
