i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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