Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
