i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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