that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
