so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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