what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
