you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
