Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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