If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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