so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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