do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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