Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
