i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
