Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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