some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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