I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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