Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
