I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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