So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
