Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
