am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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