you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
