Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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