a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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