Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
