Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize