She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
