I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
