Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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