went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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