were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
