After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
