Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
why is half of my head shaved?
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