You're completely useless in the revolution.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
