I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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