Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
