ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
