how can u be prego again
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
