apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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