do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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