After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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