I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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