I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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