I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's always time for handjobs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
