Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
