Can i not drive my cunt home
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
