Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
