I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love