oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable