just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank