a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
