Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
