How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
