Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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