i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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