some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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