I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
