Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
