No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
